You're the One I Love
by aerhead
Summary: A series of one shots after the breakup.
1. You're the One I Love

**Disclaimer** – I own no one, definitely don't own the amazing lyrics that are by _The Veronicas_. The song is called _All I Have_. Don't sue me! I'm just writing because the song inspired me.

**You're the One I Love**

She turned in the bed, her back turned to the familiar body that comforted since that fateful night. She took a breath as he wrapped his arms around her thin waist and tucked his face into her hazel hair. She heard him whisper the all too familiar 'I love you' before he drifted off to sleep. With one last sigh, she closed her eyes trying to convince herself this is what was supposed to happen. Minutes passed as she started to feel somewhat comfortable in the strong embrace before slept overtook her exhausted frame.

"Alex!" She woke with a start, her breathing was rapid and she looked down at the slumbering body next to hers. She peered at the clock, 5:45am. Looking out the window, she noticed the sun starting to peek somewhat over the horizon. Her eyes drifted back to the bed, and she pulled her long bronzed legs to her chest, the sheet covering her knees as she tucked her chin in between them and wrapped her arms around her calves. Her long hair cascaded down her back, some over her shoulder as she looked back out the window of the pool house. Her thoughts wandered as she only thought of the blonde that left her just months before. She couldn't stop thinking about her, wondering if she went back to her parents for sure, or if she went back to Jodie, or was even still in California. Scoffing at the thoughts, she turned them into anger. She left her, gave up on her, Ryan was there for her while she decided to leave and not fight. Yes, that's right, its Alex' fault, not hers. But…why doesn't it feel that way?

_I was missing you_

_You were miles away_

_He was close to me_

_I let him stay_

_Then I closed my eyes_

_He almost felt the same_

_But when the morning broke_

_I cried out your name_

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears to stop coming but to no avail they continued, maybe even more than before. Wiping at them furiously, Marissa threw her legs over the side of the bed, pulled on her jeans from the night before, found the rest of her clothing and stepped out of the pool house. How could she be so stupid? He was the reason they broke up and she knew it. And here she was, in his bed almost night after night. Why did he have to break them up? Why did he have to come between the best thing she ever had? Nothing happened with him…why did things have to end? Had she known, she would have ended her friendship with him, if that's what you could even call what the two had. They were never 'just friends'. It was always more. And now…she lost the one thing that ever really mattered to her.

_If I'd only known_

_It would break us_

_I'd have done anything just to save us_

Trudging up the ramp of the guardhouse, her feet were heavy. She slumped down the wall of the shack and looked out at the water. She wrapped her arms around her, and buried her hands in the pocket of her hoodie. She stretched her legs out in front of her and watched the water, the tears coming once again as she watched the surfers catching the best waves of the day in the early morning water. Grasping the hard steel object in her hand, she pulled the flask from her hodie, unscrewed the lid and pressed the opening to her mouth. Taking a deep breath, she knocked the bitter liquor back, grimacing at the first taste. She did this several times as she watched the bodies in the water move so angelic. She never drank like this when she was with 'her'. Sure, they drank, they partied, but she never drank just to do it, she had no reason to, and now her reason for living was gone.

After endless hours of sitting in that exact spot, she pushed herself from the hard wood floorboards, dusted the stray sand from her legs and butt and made her way down the ramp once more. She looked back once more before she walked up towards the mansions that filled the hills of Newport Beach. Coming to the front door of the mansion twenty minutes later, she braced herself for what lay inside.

"Marissa? Is that you?" Julie's annoying voice sounded as the front door closed.

She rolled her eyes and ignored her mother's inquisition. Pulling her heavy body up the steps she held the flask firmly in her hand in the pocket of the large Harbor sweatshirt.

"Marissa! Where have you been? Were you with Ryan again all night?" Julie's voice stopped her.

Turning slowly around, she looked at her mother, "yes I was with Ryan all night. Where else would I be mother? With Alex?"

Julie scowled at her daughters bitter tone, "if the Cohen's weren't so respectable I wouldn't even let you go over there."

She laughed sarcastically at the comment, "you can't control a damn thing I do mom. All you've succeeded in doing is making my life a living hell, taking everything away I've ever loved." With that, she turned on her heel, leaving her mother speechless at the bottom of the staircase. Continuing up to the third floor of the mansion, she reached her room and slammed her door shut before she threw herself onto her bed and buried her face into the pillow. When she Alex it wasn't like this, Alex protected her from anything harmful, even her own mother. Maybe she could get her to come back, if she just fixed all of this, maybe Alex would come back and they could be together.

Sitting up she reached into her hoodie. She crossed her legs in front of her as she sat in the center of her large plush bed. Her fingers fumbled as she crossed over the name in her contacts list on her phone. Biting the corner of her bottom lip, she decided against calling, maybe it was disconnected. Instead she hit another button that took her to a blank text screen. Typing quickly on the small flip phone, she hit that green button and snapped her phone shut.

Within minutes she received a text back, 'I forgave you along time ago.' Quickly replying, she pressed the send button again. She waited and waited, fifteen minutes passed before her phone alarmed her of another incoming text. She read it, 'do you really love me?' Typing a reply, she pressed send and snapped her phone shut.

_'Cause you're all I have_

_When the world comes down on me_

_You're the one I love_

_And I'm begging you to see_

_You're all, you're all, you're all I have_

_You are, you are the one I love_

_You are, you are, you're all I have_

Laying down on her bed she pulled her knees to her chest, waiting for another response. Jumping at the sudden ringing coming from her phone, she flipped it open and pressed it to her ear, not even a hello, all she heard was, "what about Ryan?" Choking back her sobs, she responded, "there is no Ryan. Just you." She heard a sigh come from the phone, "how do I know that?"

_You've forgiven me_

_But it doesn't change_

_The guilt I feel when you mention his name_

_No more innocence_

_How to trust again_

_Wanna believe that you won't do the same_

"You have to trust me, believe me. It's always been you, there was never anything with him, not while I was with you," she tried to grasp for anything. "So he was there after?" She stayed silent, that was enough of an answer for the other, "what do you want from me?" She felt panicked at the question, "just you! I just want you…"

_And every time we fight_

_We're gettin' closer_

_I slowly die inside_

_I'm scared it's over_

"You had me!" She shrunk into her bed at the angry tone coming from her, "you had me and look what happened. You aren't the only one who got hurt!" She wiped at the tears as the cascaded down her cheeks, "I just don't want to lose you for good…" She heard the girl huff on the other end, "don't you think it's a little late for that?" Thinking quickly, she replied, "I love you, you're the only one I've ever loved like this, I just wish you'd see that."

_'Cause you're all I have_

_When the world comes down on me_

_You're the one I love_

_And I'm begging you to see_

_You're all, you're all, you're all I have_

_You are, you are the one I love_

_You are, you are, you're all I have_

Figuring she wasn't going to object, she continued, "I was stupid, I know I was stupid, but I can't do this anymore. I can't go on thinking its going to get better because its not. It's been three months and I miss you more every day. I love you. And…and I know you love…or loved me. And I didn't care, I was selfish and I know that, Alex. But if I could, I would take it all back, everything that happened, just so I didn't lose you. I'm not a good person without you. I need you."

_Your love for me was always there_

_Maybe too much for me to care_

_Now that I know I messed it up_

_I'd give my all to take it back_

"Tell me you love me too…" she begged her.

_'Cause you're all I have_

_When the world comes down on me_

_You're the one I love_

_And I'm begging you to see_

_You're all, you're all, you're all I have_

_You are, you are the one I love_

_You are, you are, you're all I have_

**There is a sequel, don't worry. But I like feedback.**


	2. Can't Stay Away

**Disclaimer** – Again I own no one. The song in this one is also by _The Veronicas_, and is called _I Can't Stay Away_. Don't sue me! Please?

**Can't Stay Away**

Alex sat in her jeep contemplating on getting out. She looked back at the large house for the fifth time and sighed. "I might as well get this over with," she grumbled. She and Marissa had talked a few things out and decided that talking in person would be better. So, Alex drove the two hours to Newport Beach and to Marissa's mansion and now…she sat in the driveway, in her jeep. She'd been sitting there for a good twenty minutes fighting with herself mentally on if she should leave or stay, if she was stupid or if she was making the right choice. Having enough of the ongoing battle in her mind, Alex took hold of the handle and opened the door to her jeep. She hopped out, shut the door, and stuffed her hands in the pocket of her black jean jacket. She looked up at the house again, intimidation filling her somewhat. She threw her head back and cursed herself for this then proceeded around the vehicle and up to the door of the mansion.

_This is wrong_

_I should be gone_

_Yet here we lay_

_'Cause I can't stay away_

They sat in silence on Marissa's bed, each taking glances at each other when the other wasn't looking. They sat opposite each other; Marissa with crossed legs near the side of the bed and Alex sitting with one leg on the bed tucked under her and the other leg hanging over the side of the bed, her foot on the floor.

'What am I doing here? This was stupid!' Alex shouted in her mind. Finally, she broke the silence, "what are we doing, Marissa?"

Marissa looked up, her pale blue eyes full of hope, "I was hoping we were working this out…"

Alex leaned to the side, putting her weight on her arm as she peered at Marissa. Neither broke the gaze as they felt the magnetic pull towards the other. Thoughts ran through their heads; Alex had ones of fear while Marissa had ones of excitement. Their eyes flew back and forth between their lips and their eyes, several looks. Now, a mere inch apart, their breathing increased, their eyes stayed locked together. Marissa wet her lips with her tongue, Alex followed suit and soon their lips connected, neither sure of who really started the kiss.

_Roses bloom_

_In your dirty room_

_I come to play_

_'Cause I can't stay away_

_No I can't stay away-ay_

Their bodies lay glistened with sweat in Marissa's bed, their limbs tangled together, and hair mussed. Feeling more strength come back, Alex pulled out of the embrace and sat up, the sheet to held to her chest. Marissa lay on her side as she watched Alex go through the thought process of what they just did.

It felt so good, but so wrong, but still…it felt so good, like nothing changed, like it was the first time, maybe even better. Alex raked a hand through her tousled hair; she still hadn't looked back at Marissa. She flinched as Marissa laid a soft hand on the middle of her back, only then did she turn to look down at her ex girlfriend. She sighed and closed her eyes, the incongruity coming back. The soft stroke of Marissa's hand on her back made her give in and she soon found herself cuddling back up with the slightly taller girl.

"We need to talk about this Marissa…"

_I'm conflicted_

_I inhale now I'm addicted_

_To this place_

_To you babe_

_I can't stay away_

_Can't stay away_

_We get up, we go down_

_Then we go one more round_

_It's wrong, they say_

_I can't stay a- I can't stay away_

_No I can't stay a- I can't stay away_

"You left me!" Marissa yelled from the bed, the sheet held to her chest. She watched as Alex paced in front of her in her panties and shirt. Alex stopped in her tracks and she glared at Marissa, "I left because you were going to leave me for him! Did you expect me to stay around and watch you run back to him?"

Both stayed in silence, their eyes not leaving the other. 'How dare she blame me for this! She broke up with me!' The thoughts kept racing through Alex' mind. 'If she wouldn't have pressured me I wouldn't have thought about him!' Marissa battled her own discretions. Finally they tore their gaze from each other; Marissa averted her attention to the window and Alex looked to the floor, her arms now crossed over her chest.

"I can't do this again, Marissa, do you have any how much this has killed me? Do you know how much—" her sentence was cut off as she felt Marissa's lips against hers once again and once more, she allowed the girl to pull her back to the bed, unable to pull away. It's what she wanted, what they both wanted, whether she admitted it to herself or not.

_I was numb_

_For you I come_

_Night and day_

_And I can't stay away_

_No I can't stay away_

Marissa turned in the bed; she noticed the room was a bit darker than it was before. The bed was cold; Alex was nowhere to be seen. Panic flooded her, and she looked around the room for any sign that Alex would be there. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Alex' clothes still scattered around the floor just like hers were. It was then that the smell of cigarette smoke made its way to her nose. She looked to her balcony and watched as the California breeze blew her curtains in. Standing from the bed, she yanked the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around her body then padded out to the terrace.

Alex felt her presence as Marissa stood at the doorway watching her. She didn't acknowledge her though as she brought the cigarette back to her lips. Marissa continued to watch her for another minute before she proceeded. They stood next to each other, each looking out over the ocean, neither speaking. Marissa watched as Alex blew the smoke from her lips. She noticed how Alex would close her eyes just for the slightest second as she inhaled from the fag. Alex looked to her, offered the cigarette and Marissa shook her head no. Alex raised her eyebrows before withdrawing her hand. She took one last drag before she smothered it out on the cement railing and threw it over the edge. Then, she turned to Marissa, and Marissa turned to her. Taking another breath, she held her hand out to Marissa, and Marissa looked at it then back up to Alex' eyes. Not hesitating another second, she took hold of the slender, soft hand and walked back inside.

"What do you say we get dressed and go for a walk on the beach? For old times sake?"

_I'm conflicted_

_I inhale now I'm addicted_

_To this place_

_To you babe_

_I can't stay away_

_Can't stay away_

_We get up, we go down_

_Then we go one more round_

_It's wrong, they say_

_I can't stay a- I can't stay away_

_No I can't stay a- I can't stay away_

The walked closely to each other, not touching, but close enough to feel the others emotions radiating off of them. They'd been walking for at least a good hour in silence, they'd fought so much, and neither was sure what to say. As Alex stopped, Marissa turned back and stopped as well. She cocked her head to the side in questions, "you okay?"

Alex looked down, shoved her hands into her jean pockets and shuffled a foot in the sand, she looked back up then and into Marissa's eyes, "I love you, Marissa."

_I wish I could_

_Leave and never return_

_Baby, I know I should_

_But for you I'd burn_

_Stay away_

_'Cause I can't stay away-ay_

_I'm conflicted_

_I inhale now I'm addicted_

_To this place_

_To you babe_

_I can't stay away_

_Can't stay away_

_We get up, we go down_

_Then we go one more round_

_It's wrong, they say_

_I can't stay a- I can't stay away_

_No I can't stay a- I can't stay away_

_I can't stay away_

_I can't stay away_

_I can't stay away_

_I can't stay away_

**For those that have read this, they've wanted me to continue this into a series of just one shots, what do you think? Let me know if you want me to keep going!**


End file.
